The Cat's out of the Bag.....and it's Okay (okay)

So I have been pretty quiet on the forefront of all things health and fitness. Not really toting any new health and fitness groups. Not posting any new meal plans or what my plans are to stay on track for the holidays.

And that's because I have felt like a big old hypocrite.

I haven't been working out 5-6 days a week like I normally do. I haven't been sticking to my meal plans and I haven't been quite so rigid about what kind of treats I am allowing myself to have. And I have been gaining weight like a champ.

Why?

Well because B is going to be a big sister in about four months.

So shouldn't I feel okay about all the things I listed above? Shouldn't I feel all glowy and wondrous and joyful about wanting to eat nothing but donuts for two weeks straight? Shouldn't I cut myself some slack when I am exhausted and can't' even fathom the thought of getting up extra early to squeeze my workout into an already jam packed day?

Maybe I should...but I don't.

It's hard to undo all the standards that I've held myself to over the past year and a half. And while yes in my brain I know I'm supposed to be gaining weight and letting myself get a few extra hours of sleep it's hard to not just feel like a slacker.

It's hard to get rid of the feeling of dread when my belly is getting into the way of my stretches....the way it used to a year and a half ago before I started this whole health and fitness journey. And I know that there is a much better reason for it now. I should be happy to see my baby growing and that we are both healthy. I know that in my head but it's still hard to shake that feeling.

And with that feeling comes the fear of gaining too much weight...not being able to get it off as quickly as I want. The downside of being a part of the health and fitness industry is that you see these women who are gorgeous...who gain the minimal amount of weight (that of course is all baby) and then four weeks later are back in their pre pregnancy jeans before they are even cleared to workout again by their doctors.

And then there is me. Who pees on a stick and gains ten pounds overnight. Who does not gain the kind of weight that is all baby. Who gains weight crazy easy even when she isn't' pregnant despite all the workouts and meal planning. And who would be stoked be back in my pre pregnancy jeans in four months instead of the two and a half years it took me last time.

It's taken a few months to wrap my head around all of that. To come to terms with it and be okay with the fact that working out 3-4 days a week is okay when I need the extra sleep. That giving in and opting for the easy dinner option after a crazy busy day is okay because sometimes that is all you can do. That eating white toast for a month straight was okay because it was the only thing that didn't send me running to the bathroom. That not working this Beachbody business as many hours a week as I was five months ago because I am exhausted and can barely form a sentence is okay. Because I need to put me and my kids first.

What matters is being aware and 80% of the time trying to eat the healthiest I can. What matters is cutting myself a little bit of slack and not comparing myself to anyone else who has had a baby and looks like a supermodel in their going home with baby pictures. What matters is to not compare myself to any other Beachbody coaches and their success because this is my journey and my road bumps are very different from everyone elses.

And guess what.

I am okay with all of it.



When I signed up to coach, I did so to hold myself to a higher standard and I help those who wanted to join me on this journey. I did it so that I could fit working around my life and be able to put my family first. I didn't do it to make a million dollars. My goal was to make enough to cover monthly expenses. Preschool, gymnastics, gas and groceries. To treat my coaches and clients like a family. To be there to help them with whatever they need, no matter where they are in their business and weight loss journey. A daily check in. A little extra motivation. Questions about meal planning and how to make it happen. I wanted to inspire, not sell. I wanted to encourage people to make it part of their lifestyle not offer them a quick fix.


And why should any of that change because I no longer fit in my jeans?

It shouldn't. Instead of letting myself be inspired by the success of others, I let their success impede my own. I took three big steps back when I should have been proud of what I have accomplished and what I am accomplishing (because chasing a three year old, growing another human being, supporting my team and the clients I currently have and still finding the time and energy to take care of me is a lot.)

So here it is....my big confession and my commitment to being back in the game (without feeling bad about wearing elastic pants while I do it.)

If you want to join me as part of my team or as one of my challengers as I navigate pregnancy, the holidays and fighting the Christmas cookie battle please don't hesitate to contact me or fill out the application below for more information.

Fill out my online form.

Online contact and registration forms from Wufoo.

Being a Stay at Home Mom Just Wasn't Enough (and why I felt like the worst person ever)

"Oh you're a stay at home mom...you're so lucky."

"You get to stay at home with your little girl? That is so wonderful. What a blessing. They grow up so fast."

"You will really look back and cherish these years with them. It is so nice you don't have to go back to work."

"Well, Sara, you don't have to work so.... (insert request here)"

"You know, I work, so I don't have time for that like you do."

I heard comments like this all the time. They ranged from the regarding stay at home mommyhood as the mecca to which all women aspire to reach and those that have or make the circumstances for that to happen are the blessed. The fortunate. The envied. What so many others are working to have.

And the later I heard mostly from my family. Like I hadn't worked (for many years multiple jobs including going to school while working full time hours) since I was 13 and allowed to babysit as much and as often as I could. I was the hour snatcher when I worked retail in my premanager days. If someone was giving up a shift I would take it. I needed to pay my bills, my rent...buy groceries (and beer!) If overtime was approved my managers knew they could count on me to get in as soon as I could and stay as long as they needed. No questions asked. If you're paying me, I'll do it. Stock, sales, inventory. No problem. Handled.

And here I was, at home with this amazing little person and it just wasn't enough. I was bored. I was lonely. I was tired. And I felt like I spent my days catering to things that just needed me constantly (dogs included) and cleaning up poop (dogs included again.) And then she grew into this cool little toddler who had a killer personality, loved to laugh and was wild and crazy. She ran me to exhaustion and made me laugh and smile. But something was still missing. I would go days without talking to another grown up. For a while, I considered talking to my high school cheerleaders talking to grown ups. And my poor assistant cheer coach....I just talked her ear off whenever we were together. For months the only break I had from my kiddo was to take upwards of twenty some high school girls to cheer camp for 4 days. Because, I forgot to mention, that my husband was gone. He travels for work so he wasn't there for weeks at a time. So it was all on me. Every day. Sun up to sun down (Ha! If only. I was needed in the middle of the night too. For sickness, accidents and well just because sometimes she didn't want to sleep. Because sleeping to a toddler is the worst punishment you can bestow upon them.)

And I felt like a terrible person for not being blissfully happy. Because everyone told me I should be.

So I overcompensated by treating myself. I pureed fresh organic veggies for my baby's first meals and then let myself eat (an entire bag of) cheddar cheese popcorn for dinner with a glass of wine. While watching days of marathon television (Netflix is seriously dangerous in this situation. Every single episode of Gossip Girl. Ummm...yes please. And four days of my life just gone. I missed the Grey's Anatomy fuss because I was working all the time. So why not catch up with all eight seasons now. Back to back. Without commercials.) That was what I did.

Until I decided it wasn't working. I was miserable. Desperate. And I am sure this is where you expect me to put in where Beachbody entered my life and turned it all around.

Well it didn't.

Groupon happened.

But first a suprise from one of my favorite long distance people.

A christmas present from my super-far-away-and-I-miss-her-so-much friend came accompanied with a flash drive of pictures we had taken on a 3 day super fast see-as-much-as-you-can-see tour of Portland when we were out there that summer. And I saw a picture of me that I couldn't even handle. I wanted to burn it. Bury it. Hide it. But I could still see it in my head. (Hell, I can still see it in my head now.)

And then a groupon for a personal training experience entered my mailbox. It was something like $40 for a month - 5 days a week- for a small bootcamp type class with a couple of trainers who used the gymnastics/cheer gym down the road. But it was at 5:30 in the morning.

I knew John would be around for at least a month at that point and I needed to do something. So I left my sleeping family behind and truged out in the cold and snow. (Did I mention it was February? In Pittsburgh?) But I went. Every day. Sick, tired, sore, snowing, it didn't matter. I showed up. And I played. Two weeks in and I could keep up with some of the guys there. I pushed myself. And it felt amazing. But I didn't lose any weight (on the scale anyway. I had yet to learn about other methods of tracking success.) Despite being frustrated with the scale, WOW did it feel good to get up and bust my a$$ every morning.  I felt like I could do anything.

And this is where I got the guts to think I could do Insanity. I knew if I was going to change my body and my life I needed to do something crazy. Welcome to my life Shawn T.

And three weeks in I was there again. Angry. Frustrated. Wondering why the eff the scale was still not moving AT ALL.

I knew that Katy had recently become a Beachbody coach but she wasn't the only one I knew. I worked retail with quite a few people who had found success with Beachbody in many ways. But Katy and I taught on the same 7th grade team when I was subbing for a maternity leave. I missed having the connection to the school outside of cheer. And I didn't want to go digging back into my retail days. They were long behind me and I wanted to avoid that "history."

She put me in a challenge group and I had a focus again. Something to put all of my effort and energy into outside of my child. I knew I wanted this as a part of my life. I knew I didn't want to give it up. So I closed my eyes, let my stomach flip and signed up to coach. To pay it forward and help give others the push THEY need to change THEIR lives.

And wow did I make a good choice. I found a team of amazing people. I found success in my weight loss journey. I found friends who are supportive and energizing and help push me to make ME a better person. I found the want to reach out and support others the way I have been supported. I had a purpose and a drive again. I slowly began to crawl out of the hole.

I take an hour every day to get my sweat on and another hour to check in with all the people I am now motivating to change their lives. I spend a little more time working on personal development and leadership. And after my kiddo goes to bed I work on the other things. And yes, I make the conscious choice to take those hours away from playing with my daughter. But what I have gained has made me a better mother, a better wife and a better person. We go to the park and we play. The hours I am with her, I am WITH her (not pretending to play with her while watching hyperbolized medical dramas.) I have the support to get me moving when I need it and the encouragement to keep going.

I have been blessed in finding exactly what I needed (even if I didn't know what I needed yet and had to endure a lot of frustration to get there.) I have been blessed in joining an amazing family. I have been blessed in finding enough.

Why I decided to become a Beachbody coach....

I always said that if I was an actress or model or *insert job that requires a hot body here* I would totally look that good too. I mean, it would be MY JOB. I am going to work hard for my job or not get paid. If the model doesn't look good, she doesn't book any jobs, she doesn't get paid. Well, it's time for me to put my money where my mouth is because I just made it my job. One of the best reasons I saw for signing up to be a Beachbody coach was that it was now my job to look good too. How am I supposed to motivate or help anyone reach their health goals while I am sitting on my ass eating popcorn all day? The answer is I'm not. So on those days where I just don't want to, please don't make me workout, it pushes me to do so. It keeps me accountable without having to go to a meeting to listen to people whine about how cake is the devil.

What I love about everything I have experienced so far is that there is no magic pill. No you aren't going to lose 60 lbs in 30 days (ok maybe someone somewhere has but the reality of that is super slim.) You aren't going to lose weight by sitting on the couch. It just doesn't work that way. You have to put the work in and you get out exactly what you put in. If I skip workouts and eat like poo, it is reflective in my performance and my results. I have literally given blood, sweat and tears to completing the Insanity program and worked my butt off for every single ounce I lost. And I didn't lose a ton of weight. I will not be the next infomercial star but I am so proud of myself for showing up and working hard.

I believe, as consumers, we are lied to every day and, as Americans (in one of the heaviest nation in the world) we are super sensitive to anything that promises to be an easy and quick fix when it comes to weight loss. Beachbody is not that. And I love that about this company. There are so many workout program options and they just ask you to push play and give everything you've got. That is something I can stand behind.

When I ordered Insanity, I had just done a month of bootcamp (with a Groupon) and was in love. I was getting up at 5 and busting my hump 5 days a week. My month with my Groupon was almost over (and I couldn't afford to stay without the discount) and I didn't want to lose the incentive or the good habits I had started. The infomercial for Insanity came on and I thought why not? I proved I could do more than I thought by taking a bootcamp class for a month, maybe this was step 2. Go big or go home.

And while my Insanity results weren't commercial worthy, they aren't anything to sneeze at either. I have tried so many programs, so many different diets, but nothing gave me results that came close to my Insanity results (even the bootcamp I loved so much.) One thing I really struggled with during Insanity (and I think I will with almost every Beachbody program going forward) was the meal plan. About a year ago, I gave up meat and dairy. Most of the eating guides are very meat (protein) heavy. I started searching the message boards and even asked in some of the Beachbody groups on Facebook. I found nothing. I really felt like there was a huge gap in the community. And when I found an "answer" it was to substitute tofu or other soy based protein product (which the jury is still out on how great these are for you too...) I don't mind tofu and I have actually grown to really enjoy it in some recipes (once I fumbled through a bunch of recipes learning how to cook it.) But I really didn't want to eat that much soy. I try to limit that to once a week not multiple times a day! Where is the help for someone looking for vegetarian or vegan nutrition? It just isn't there. I really want to be there to help people who are struggling with the meal plans, like I did.

Learning about plant based nutrition has lead me down this twisty turvy path that has me questioning
not only what is sold as food but what we are told about our food by manufacturers. We are generally given brightly colored boxes with nutritions claims and are virtually patted on the head and told we are good boys and girls for making the right decisions. The entire food industry treats us like we are children. No, honey, you don't really want to know how we put the fiber back in or how we made the fat free, healthy, death by chocolate cookie taste good or how we keep the bugs out of the corn. Those are messy, grown up things that you don't need to worry about. Now go eat your snack and stop asking silly questions.


I feel like my job as a Beachbody coach is not to get people to eat the way I do or get as fired up as I do about the food industry but to let everyone know it is ok to question what is in your food. Why do we have to add red dye to farm raised salmon? (and when I found out the answer to that I gagged and stopped eating farm raised salmon.) Why does Kraft make macaroni and cheese for European countries without artificial food dyes and will not do that same thing in America? (read more about that here. Thanks Foodbabe!) And that it is ok to decide that maybe you want to stop eating things with artificial dyes or sweeteners or even foods that are processed. As Beachbody coaches, I feel, that we need to get out there and encourage people to make their own decisions, to do their own research, to empower them to try things like clean eating and see first hand if it makes a difference in their lives. Our food is fuel for our life. I know I don't want to eat things that make me feel sluggish and tired and laying on the couch all day because I don't want to look back and see that I spent more of my days invested in the lives of fictional characters than I did invested in the lives of the people I care the most about.

And of course there was one more huge reason I bit the bullet and decided to become a Beachbody coach...

The discount! That was a huge incentive for me to become a Beachbody coach. I wanted the 25% discount. Even with the monthy website maintanance fee, it was still saving me around 15 bucks on my shakeology. That was a no brainer for me. Kind of like when I used to work retail. I loved getting the clothes on the cheap (and ended buying way more than I should have or needed.) I also get bored easily. I'm not the type who is going to keep doing the same workout over and over and over. Sure I might come back to a workout (maybe revisiting Insanity once a year or so) but I need to change it up. The discount gave me the ability to purchase more workouts (starting Turbofire next! Whoot!) and now that I am committed to exercising 6 days a week I need the variety. (And if I ever stop ordering "mom's shake" my toddler might never forgive me, as it has become her favorite snack.)