Saturday, July 27, 2013

Why July was a total bust (and I am so ready to embrace August)

I am so over July.

It was a month of changes (but not where I wanted them) and plateaus. I am super happy to be back in my favorite city (Yay Pittsburgh!) but not dealing with a crabby toddler who suddenly has an opinion about where she wants to be (which is currently anywhere but here.)

In addition to bi-annual cross country trek, I started spending my mornings with crabby teenage girls. I was expecting girls who were eager to work and excited to be there and instead I am getting grumbling, dragging feet and even whining. We spent four days (and three nights) together at cheer camp and there were ups and downs (and some tears) and I thought we made headway on the effort and "your coaches can't care for you" front. But, it seems, we are back to square one when it comes to said effort and dedication. And then I feel like a hypocrite lecturing them about effort and dedication (for the millionth time) when I have let my own effort and dedication slide this month. Big time.

Sure, I can blame it on moving or being away at cheer camp or having my schedule completely turned on it's head -- going from only having to worry about B, getting my workout in and what to cook for dinner. I can blame it on the fact that I have started Month 2 of TurboFire and Month 2 for me is always hard, no matter the program (and how much I loved it the first month.) It is that point where you no longer have the excitement from starting a new program and doing something different, but you also don't have the Month 3 the end is in sight mentality either. I struggle in the middle to get over the hump.  It doesn't help that I am bit of an anal perfectionist either. If I miss a day (or three) on the  schedule and didn't follow it the "right way" I try to repeat the week to do it correctly. So not only do I lose steam in Month 2, but I end up repeating weeks and make it way longer than it should be.

In addition to my failure at TurboFire this month,  I have been trying to add in the C25K training on top of it. The weather, humidity and my asthma has not been kind in that regard. One of the things I am worst at in the world is running so I need to conquer that (before I get too old.) An item that is on my bucket list is running a race (even if it is a measly 5K.) I am terrified of doing one, having struggled to run a single mile my entire life. I can kick box, dance, and out Zumba a lot of people but running is something I am not built for -- and I want to change that or at least prove I can conquer it. My Aunt has fantasies about all of us girls going to Disney to participate in the Princess Half Marathon (and while the idea of running in a tutu sounds like so much more fun than just running) I have no idea how I will be able to huff and puff my way through 13.1 miles (even if I am covered in glitter and fairy dust.) But I have come to the realization that I need to have big and scary dreams to accomplish anything. If what I want to do is way out of reach (and strikes terror in me) then I am more likely to get my a$$ in gear.

So enough whining about my lack of accomplishing anything this month and looking forward. What am I going to do about it? First I dug out all the old jeans I have held onto over the years. (And I used to work retail and hoard jeans--so it's a lot.) After surveying the 25 + pairs of jeans that DON'T FIT I decided to do something slightly dramatic (in my mind anyway.) I posted a picture and put it on the internet. I also decided to do a Skinny Jeans/Drop a Jean Size challenge during the months of August and September. (Read about that here.) By motivating others, I motivate myself and hold myself accountable. (Kind of selfish - yes - but selfish in the way volunteering is selfish. We volunteer to help others and because it makes us feel good. And everything is inherently selfish according to my husband so there's that.)

So I am looking forward instead of focusing on where I misstepped this month. Focusing on what I can do now to fix it instead of saying "Well, I suck. So I might as well eat a pound of chocolate tonight while I still suck and start again tomorrow...or Monday because starting over on Mondays is way better. Much neater on the calendar. Or maybe just next month. Yes! I will have a whole month that is clean and healthy. How great is that. Now hand over that popcorn so I can watch some TV." So changing this mentality is kind of big which if I do say so myself is an improvement. (Maybe July wasn't so bad after all....)

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